


Chris(tmas Miracle)

by celebel



Category: Cricket RPF
Genre: (blink and you'll miss that one tho), Attempt at Humor, Awkwardness, Bad References to Christmas Songs, Denial of Feelings, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Meet the Family, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Obliviousness, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 09:05:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14766648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celebel/pseuds/celebel
Summary: "Let me get this straight," Jos sighs, voice scratchy from the sleep Chris has just woken him from.  He feels a tad bad, but it's his life at stake here.  "You told your brothers that you have a boyfriend and now they think you're bringing someone back for Christmas.""Yes.""But you don't actually have a boyfriend and knowing them, they'll murder you completely if you don't bring anybody home.""Yes.""And you're expecting me to help you with this?""Yes...?"There's a long pause."Right," Jos says.  "We're having this conversation tomorrow." And hangs up.





	1. He's Making A List

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Starstarc](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starstarc/gifts).



> So the first prompt I chose was "Chris is always being pestered by his family if he has a boyfriend, eventually he gets sick of it so he asks Jos to pretend to be his boyfriend for christmas with his family and they all love him and ask him to come to easter or whatever and he keeps coming back to the family get togethers."
> 
> I think I fulfilled the prompt. Kind of. Sort of. Idk, dude, it kinda ran away a little and it's more Christmas-centric than anything but I hope you enjoy it all the same :D

One ring. Two rings. Three-

Click. _Oh thank God._

"Hello-?" A familiar voice echoes down the line.

"Titch, will you go out with me?" Chris asks before James has even finished speaking.

There's a long silence. One second. Two seconds. Three, four, five- James bursts into fits of roaring laughter which make Chris wince and hold the phone away from his ear.

"Aw, mate," he manages in between wild giggles. "I'm going to pretend you never asked me that."

And before he can get another word in, James hangs up. 

Chris tries not to feel put out at one of his oldest and best friends giving him such a response but really, he hadn't expected much else other than that.

With a sigh, he crosses one James Taylor off the list.

Who's next?

***

 _Why's Hales even on this list?_

He scratches out Alex's name without even thinking about calling him.

_Mark? Mark's not a bad guy, he'd make family dinners interesting, for sure._

_But are you sure he's not going to accidentally give the whole thing away within the first five minutes, knowing his antics?_

He pencils a neat line through Mark's name.

_Mum's not really going to approve of all those tattoos._

And Ben Stokes is eliminated from the list.

_Jonny will probably want to spend Christmas with his mum and Becky, I can't ask something like this of him._

Jonny would probably have said yes... but no.

_Steven? Surely Steven, we've been mates since forever._

Chris picks up his phone and punches Steven's number in, feeling slightly more confident about the entire mess he's managed to get himself into.

***

 _For fuck's sake, Steven,_ Chris says to himself after his third call goes unanswered. _Don't bail on me now._

Eventually Steven does pick up, right before the fifth call goes right to voicemail. He sounds slightly breathless but Chris doesn't pick up on it immediately, or rather, he doesn't think it's important at the time.

"Finny! Yeah, so, I may have fucked up a little." _Good, start, Christopher. Good start._

"And what else is new?" Chris can almost hear an eye roll across the phone call.

"Well, you know my brothers, right? And how they're always complaining about how I never bring anyone home for Christmas?" He's not going to make the same mistake he did with James and pop the question without giving any context.

There's a low groan which he assumes is just Steven being too tired to formulate a proper verbal response from being woken up at such a time in the night - Good Lord, how is it 10.30 p.m. already? "Mm, yeah?"

"So, I may have lost my cool at them a little after I got one group chat message too many from them and told them that I do have a boyfriend? I only did it to make them shut up, and I didn't actually realise what I'd said, if that makes sense. It probably doesn't, but now they're under the impression that I'm bringing someone home for Christmas so, I really need to get a date, if not-"

He's interrupted by a moan. It's very loud, very sexual, and very much sounding like Steven Finn. He freezes mid-sentence, unable to speak for a few moments. 

"Holy shit, Chris, I am so sorry, I-" 

"Finny, are you...?" He cuts off Steven's rambling, with a question which he's not sure he wants the answer to. He hears a quiet swear from Steven's end of the line and shuffling before a voice which is definitely not Steven addresses him.

"Chris." It's Stuart. Oh God.

"H-hey, Broady," he stammers. "How are things?"

"They were pretty good up until someone decided to call my boyfriend five times in a row on his mobile phone while we were busy." His voice is cool and it freaks Chris out. It's the one he uses which makes it sound like he's not mad when he actually is probably mad enough to bash your head in with his bat. Or a few bouncers. Or both.

"Uh, yeah, sorry about that." He allows himself some awkward laughter. "Was getting a bit desperate."

"Yes, evidently." He is not going to be able to look Stuart or Steven in the eyes ever again after this. "But as you can tell now, Steven is off the market, and has been for a while actually."

_For a while? Okay, that explains all those cancelled nights out with me and James to go have nice dinners with Stuart. I guess I can feel a little less pissy about that._

He gives a few nods before realising that Stuart can't actually see him nodding. He clears his throat and somehow manages to find his words. "O-okay, then. You two h-have fun... I guess..."

"Thank you, Chris. I'm sure we will." Is the last thing he hears before the call is ended.

His hands are still shaking when he puts his phone down and removes Steven and Stuart's names from the paper.

***

_Are Joe's dick jokes really going to be appreciated by mum and dad?_

Not Joe then.

_Mo? No, he doesn't really do Christmas._

"Why the hell is it so hard to find a Christmas date?" he says, voice rising to a frustrated shout by the end of the sentence. 

_Surely Eoin. Yes, he's the perfect man for this role- Oh shit, he's back visiting family in Ireland, isn't he?_

"Well, that's a fucking problem, isn't it, Christopher?" He doesn't realise he's said it out loud until he hears the echoing in his empty room. Who knew finding a fake-date for Christmas would be so difficult?

He looks down at the crumpled sheet of paper in his hands and his stomach drops when he sees only one name remaining on his list. He grits his teeth and forces himself to pick up his phone.

_Don't fail me now, Jos._

***

"Chris, hi-"

"Hey, so, I accidentally told David and Peter that I have a boyfriend because I needed them to shut up because they were pissing me off yet again but the thing is, I don't actually have a boyfriend, haven't had one for ages but they actually bought it. Can you believe it, Jos? They actually have that much faith in me, that Christopher Roger Woakes can get a date! But anyway, that's not the point. The point being that they think I'm bringing someone back home to Birmingham for Christmas and I need you to go out with me so they don't kill me when I show up without a partner, and dump my body in the woods for the animals to feed on. Jos, I'm too young to die, you're my last hope, please help me." He lets out a long breath he didn't realise he'd been holding. He's desperate at this point. Jos is the last name on his list of eligible people and he is so fucked if he says no. A few beats of silence pass. "Jos? You still there, mate?"

"Let me get this straight," Jos sighs, voice scratchy from the sleep Chris has just woken him from. He feels a tad bad, but it's his life at stake here. "You told your brothers that you have a boyfriend and now they think you're bringing someone back for Christmas."

"Yes."

"But you don't actually have a boyfriend and knowing them, they'll murder you completely if you don't bring anybody home."

"Yes."

"And you're expecting me to help you with this?"

"Yes...?"

There's a long pause.

"Right," Jos says. "We're having this conversation tomorrow." And hangs up.

Chris lets the phone fall from where he had been holding it against his ear, onto the bed. His hand thuds limply beside it.

He collapses backwards onto the sheets and rolls over, burying his face into one of the pillows and screaming his frustrations into it.

He is so fucked.

It isn't until hours later, when he's lying awake in his bed thinking about every possible way his family could kill him, that it hits him.

Jos didn't exactly say no.

Maybe there is some hope for him after all.


	2. From Now On, Our Troubles Will Be Out Of Sight

The next morning, Jos sends him a text, asking if the café down the road from the training center is a good place to meet. He texts back at a speed he's sure any teenage girl would kill to have.

And that's how he finds himself sitting in a quiet café on a Sunday morning half an hour before the time he and Jos agreed on, a hot coffee in front of him which he finds he can't enjoy for he's too nervous about... well, everything.

Eventually, Jos does show up, long after he has forced down the cup of bitter liquid and ordered a second. God knows he needs it, no matter how much he tells himself he doesn't. Staying awake in bed for three hours, fretting about your fabricated love life and how you're supposed to explain it to a family which believes that you do in fact have an actual love life does that to people.

Jos settles into the chair opposite him and reaches across the table to pluck Chris' cup of coffee right out of his hands.

"Alright, spill," he says, taking a sip. He raises his eyebrows at the weak protests and stares Chris down over the rim of the cup. "The least you can treat me to for my troubles."

Chris gives a heavy sigh, leaning back in the overstuffed café chair and running a hand through his hair.

"How much did you get from what I told you last night?"

"Explain it to me again. I want to make sure I didn't hallucinate everything you said because from what I think I remember, I may have well done so."

He takes a deep breath and launches into his account of the events, watching Jos closely for any hints of emotion which would betray his thoughts on the situation. He's thoroughly surprised when he gets none, Jos instead remaining impassive throughout the entire one-sided conversation, only showing occasional signs of disgust whenever he takes a sip of the coffee which has gone cold.

Chris finally finishes his story, letting out a deep breath he didn't realise he'd been holding the entire time. Wow, the fitness coaches would be so proud of all that lung capacity he has gained in recent months. He glances at Jos whose face is still completely blank as he places the empty cup down on the table and laces his fingers together.

"And I can help you how exactly?"

"By going out with me," he says. "It's going to be fake though, don't worry. And only for three days, from the 24th to the 26th," he quickly adds on just so Jos won't get too uncomfortable at the idea of dating him for an unspecified period of time.

"Just a question," Jos says slowly. "Why... why me? Why not the other boys like Titch or Finny, or... or I don't know, anybody else?."

"Titch and Finny turned me down. Somewhat," he says, pulling a face at the memories. "Besides, now that I think about it, dating Titch would be weird, like I was dating my brother or something, and he knew that as well, I suppose. And Finny is with Broady now, apparently, just thought you should know. You're my only hope now."

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, he mentally slaps himself. He makes Jos sound like some sort of last resort, but then again, he kind of is. No point in lying about that, lies would only come back to bite him in the ass. Big time. Trust him, he knew.

"Oh..." Jos whispers with an odd look which looks something like... disappointment?

"I'll do it," Jos says eventually, after a long, awkward silence. Chris' face lights up like a child's on Christmas day. "I'll fake-date you if it saves you being murdered by your family."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you so much, Jos!" Chris laughs in pure elation, leaning over the table between then and sweeping Jos up in a tight hug. "I owe you my life!"

"No worries, mate." He tries to return the hug as best he can with both arms squashed to his sides.

For the first time since yesterday, Chris feels that maybe, things aren't looking so bad for him after all.


	3. Soon It Will Be Christmas Day

Soon, the the air got chillier and the rainfalls even more frequent, and it was time for Chris and Jos to head up to Birmingham on Christmas Eve.

It takes him a two hour long car trip with cheesy Christmas songs playing on the radio and Jos beside him, occasionally asking questions about his family to break the awkward silence between them, for Chris to realise that he hasn't actually planned anything out with Jos about what they are going to say to his family when they inevitably ask the obvious questions. The thought hits him just as he pulls into the driveway of his childhood home.

"Oh no." Jos looks at him worriedly.

"What's wrong? Did you leave something behind?"

"No, it's just..." His breathing quickens and his thoughts go into overdrive to the point where he has to close his eyes, take a deep breath, count to ten and back, and then open them. He doesn't feel any calmer, but at least he isn't on the verge of hyperventilating now. "I was so happy and distracted about the fact that someone had actually accepted and I'm not going to die this Christmas, but now I've realised that we don't have any answers to the questions we're going to be asked they're and my family is going to find out I've lied and they're still going to murder me and nobody is going to find my body and they'll probably murder you too and I don't want that to happen because you're a nice guy and-"

The front door slams open with a bang and he instinctively squeezes his eyes shut, gloved hands gripping the steering wheel so tight he hears the plastic creak in protest.

"OI, LADS, CHRIS IS HERE!" Peter's loud voice booms from the porch. He cracks his eyes open a fraction to see his brother waving madly at him before yelling something back into the house. He takes a deep breath, placing a hand on the handle of his car door, ready to step out and face the cold and his brothers, before feeling a light touch on his hand still gripping the steering wheel.

He turns to Jos who stares at him for a moment. He hesitates for a brief moment before leaning and planting a light kiss to the corner of Chris' mouth.

He tries not to let the surprise show too much when he hears a loud whoop from Peter. When Jos pulls back, he gives Chris a firm nod and an encouraging look. The message is clear enough.

_You've got this._

He feels confidence flow through his veins at that, reinvigorating him. He gives Jos a smile and steps out of the car.

The cold doesn't last long because suddenly, Peter is enveloping him in a crushing hug and lifting him off of his feet, having bounded across the driveway in record time with no concern of possibly slipping in any puddles. 

"Oof, yeah, nice to see you too, Peter," he manages to wheeze. "Please put me down."

"I'm just so happy you're here, Chris!" he laughs, finally releasing him. He slaps him heartily on the back, making him stumble slightly. He would've gone face first into the ground if not for Jos' steadying hand gripping his shoulder (when did he get out of the car?).

"And I suppose this the boyfriend you told us about." Chris looks behind Peter to see David making his way towards them. 

"David!" He breaks out into a grin which is mirrored by his brother.

"Hello, Chris," he says, hugging his brother in a manner less exuberant but no less warm. "Long time no see."

"Yeah," Chris says, detaching himself from the hug, still smiling. Jos gives a little sneeze, reminding him that he's still there with him. "Oh, Peter, David, this is my boyfriend Jos."

It feels weird calling Jos his boyfriend, but Peter and David don't seem to pick up on anything strange about his awkward introduction. Massive tick in that first box for him.

"Pleasure to meet you two," he smiles, shaking David's hand and then Peter's. "Chris has told me all about you guys."

Chris hadn't. The only thing he'd told Jos was that his brothers were likely to kill him if he hadn't brought anyone home. Probably not the best first thing to tell someone who’s going to be spending the next three days with them, but Jos seems to be doing fine for the meantime. Nothing awkward.

"He has, has he?" David asks with a raised eyebrow. "Hopefully nothing bad, I would hope."

Jos gives an easy laugh and places an arm around Chris' middle, making him blush. It all feels perfectly natural. Anyone who could've looked in at that moment would've thought that Jos was actually Chris' boyfriend and not just a mate pretending. When he replies, there's a twinkle in his eye.

"Of course not." 

"I like this guy, Chris," Peter laughs and slings an arm around his shoulders. "Can we keep him?"

Chris doesn't know how to answer that. He'd just assumed that they were going to fake-date over the holidays and he'd then tell his family they'd broken it off afterwards? 

Luckily, he doesn't have to say anything, a familiar voice coming to his rescue.

"Boys, aren't you going to invite Chris and his boyfriend in? It's getting a bit cold out there!" 

"Mum!" he shouts, racing to where she is on the porch her and hugging her, broad smiles on both their faces. "I've missed you."

"Welcome back, Chris. It's good to see you." Her voice is warm with tenderness and affection which gives him a fuzzy feeling in his chest. He's been away for too long. She pulls back and gestures to Jos who is trying to take the bags off Peter and David who he can see insisting that they unload the car and carry his luggage because he is a guest. "Is he the one?"

"Uh, yeah," he says, remembering what Jos is here for in the first place. Jos climbs the steps of the porch and comes to stand next to him, suitcase in hand. Chris forces himself to slip and arm low around his waist, fingers resting lightly on his hip. He glances at Jos, hoping he isn't uncomfortable with the unexpected contact and is pleasantly surprised when Jos gives him a fond smile. There's a weird fluttery feeling in his chest but he ignores it. "Mum, this is Jos."

"Pleasure to meet you, Mrs Woakes." He shakes her hand and she laughs.

"Please, call me Elaine. It's nice to finally meet the man who has been making Chris happy. Peter and David said he was so excited talking about you!"

"Mum, where's dad?" he interjects when he sees Jos shoot him a bemused look out of the corner of his eye. His brothers do have the tendency to exaggerate things.

"Oh, he's just in the kitchen finishing making dinner," she says, moving aside and ushering them in. "Go freshen up a little and I'll call you when it's ready."

"He didn't have to put so much effort in," Chris huffs fondly. "It's only dinner, and it's not even Christmas yet."

"Yes, dear, but you know how he is. You've been away for a while and he's missed you. We all have." 

As he steps through the doorway, he's hit with the pleasant warmth of the heater and the smell of cooking food wafting through the house from the kitchen. A small nudge at his shoulder and a look from Jos tells him he's been standing in the doorway with a dreamy expression on his face for too long. He smiles bashfully in acknowledgement and begins making his way to his old room, barely thinking, his feet travelling out of their own accord along the familiar path.

It's good to be home. 

***

Chris is sitting on his bed, back against the headboard, firing off some texts to James when he hears a loud crash from the bathroom. He sits bolt upright.

"Jos? You alright there, mate?" There's a pained groan from the bathroom.

"No, I think I might've accidentally taken one of your shirts into the shower with me to change into and now I'm stuck." Comes the soft but evidently frustrated voice.

"Now, how did that happen?" Chris laughs then stops himself, remembering how he'd shoved some of his shirts into Jos' bag because he couldn't fit them into his. He had hoped to have retrieved them before Jos noticed anything but he'd forgotten.

"Not a clue, mate." There's an awkward silence, only being broken by Jos' loud breathing. "You think you could uh... help me out a little?"

"Um... I- oh gosh, I'm not really-" Chris struggles for words. Was Jos naked behind that door? Like, he knew they were in a fake relationship but-

"I've got jeans on don't worry!" he calls out before Chris can embarrass himself further with his babbling. He lets out a long exhale, taking a moment to compose himself.

"Okay, be there in a second." He pushes himself off the bed and makes his way to the bathroom door. Jos is a friend. He's just helping a mate out. It doesn't have to be awkward. Why's his mind making this out to be awkward? He knocks twice and pushes the door open.

His shoulders aren't all that much broader than Chris', though he has somehow managed to end up hopelessly tangled in the shirt. It would be comical, really, seeing Jos stuck with his arms twisted awkwardly in the air and his face obscured by the fabric which Chris is sure is getting irreparably stretched, except his toned chest and abdomen are way too distracting.

"Chris?" Jos' voice snaps him out of his ogling, making him blush like he'd been caught doing something naughty. "You there?"

"Yeah." His voice is squeaky and seems as if it has jumped up two octaves. He clears his throat and tries again. "Yeah, I'm here. I'm just going to..."

He turns Jos so his back is to him and places his hands on what he assumes is the hem of the polo, roughly attempting to tug the shirt over his head. 

"Ow..." Jos makes a sound of protest when the shirt doesn't budge.

"Sorry!" he yelps quickly, jumping backwards. His face feels like it's on fire, like that one time James had tricked him into eating a ghost chili in India after reassurances that it 'really wasn't all that bad. Trust me'. Why is he being so jumpy about the entire situation in the first place? Just help the man! "Uh, Jos, do you think you could turn around to face me?"

"Where are you?" Jos twists, trying to discern where Chris' voice is coming from.

"Over here," he says, taking a deep breath and a step closer to Jos, maneuvering him with delicate touches. He murmurs a low apology when his cold hands come into contact with Jos' warm skin as he works his fingers under the polo's hem again. Gently, he eases it upwards, careful not to let it get caught this time around. If Alex were here, he'd quip about how the shirt had gotten caught on that massive nose.

Slowly, the polo is lifted, though Jos' arms are still caught over his head. His pink lips are reddened from where his teeth had been worrying at them and there's a light dusting of colour high on his cheeks. Chris assumes it's probably from the warm humidity of the bathroom. What else could it be?

"Hi," Chris says with a nervous grin, voice trembling slightly. Why's his voice shaky? Stop that, Christopher.

"Hey," Jos says, Chris' shy smile mirrored on his face.

All of a sudden, Chris becomes aware of Jos' eyes, blue like sea glass in the light, framed by crow's feet etched into tanned skin. His hair seems fluffy to the touch, just out of the shower and having been towelled minutes before. There were so many fine details he hadn't noticed about Jos Buttler: the low sweep of his jaw, the barely-visible dimples playing at the corners of his mouth, hanging slightly agape as he stares at Chris' own features in turn.

Chris lets his hands slide down Jos' arms, running along the lean muscle and coming to rest on his bare shoulders. Jos' breath is markedly slower as he tilts his head up almost imperceptibly. Chris feels his eyelids flutter shut and he leans in closer for-

"OI, CHRIS AND CHRIS' BOYFRIEND!"

They spring apart from each other, the moment shattered. Peter's deafening voice calls again from the bottom of the stairs. 

"HOPE YOU TWO AREN'T SHAGGING UP THERE BECAUSE DAD SAYS DINNER'S READY!"

What had just happened.

Chris looks at Jos who pulls the shirt off and looks anywhere but him.

"GUYS, I'M COMING UP IF YOU DON'T-"

"No!" Chris cries out a bit too fast. He takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose before trying again. "Jos is just finishing his shower, we'll be down in a minute!"

"Don't take too long!" Peter laughs, and he hears footsteps retreating in the direction of the kitchen.

"You should probably head down first," Jos says after a few moments of awkward silence pass. Chris looks at him.

_Don't stare at his abs, don't stare at his chest, his eyes are up there, Christopher, you fucking pervert, oh my God, what would your mother say if she were here?_

"Yeah, see you in a bit." He forces a smile and all but flees the bathroom, trying to calm his raging blush all the way down to the dining room.

***

Dinner as Chris remembers it, has always been a noisy affair in the Woakes household.

After his dad had greets him with a warm 'welcome home' and a hug, he's immediately swept up in the madness which is Christmas Eve dinner preparation.

His mum and Peter bustle around in the dining room laying down the plates and cutlery, their chatter loud as he and David bring the dishes from the kitchen. He hears playful yelling and teasing from his dad every time somebody tries to pinch a few morsels from the dishes he's prepared.

Jos eventually shows up looking completely unruffled, even smiling slightly. Chris pretends to be busy as Jos introduces himself to his dad. He tries his best to quell the growing blush on his cheeks as he recalls what had just passed in the bathroom.

What had even happened? Nothing, probably. He'd misread some signs. Jos sees him as a friend who just needed to be helped out, no need to go and jeopardise a perfectly good relationship because he's "deprived', as James would put it. He's a grown man who can control his sexual impulses, thank you very much. 

Once everyone was sat around the dining table and they'd spoken their typical pre-meal prayer, they dig in like a pack of hungry wolves, Chris and Jos starved from the road. Conversation is pretty normal at first, the questions all about work and cricket, lulling Chris into that false sense of security, so much so that he nearly chokes on his meal when his dad pops the inevitable question he remembers he got flustered about just now in the car.

"So, when did you two come to realise your feelings for each other?"

"Well, uh... we work together, I guess, and um... I-" A light touch on his hand gripping his fork way too hard cuts his stammering off. He looks up at Jos who had an odd light in his eyes.

"May I tell them the story, Chris?" he says with a smile, and there's that weird, fluttery in Chris' chest again. He can't say he dislikes it, but he still can't identify what it is. He manages a weak nod and Jos turns to his family, hand still on his.

"As Chris mentioned, we do work together and have known each other for a while. We never really used to talk to each other a lot, up until this one training session. I remember Chris doing some work on the boundary with Mark, Trevor skying the balls up high and having them work on their relay catches," Jos continues smoothly, picking up from where he left off. Unknowing of where this conversation is going but willing to participate all the same, Chris puts down his fork and turns his hand in Jos', lacing their fingers together. For a brief moment, he wonders if such an action would surprise Jos and make him stumble in his recount, but he instead gives Chris' hand a small squeeze, not missing a beat. "One particular ball, Mark ran in and took the catch but lost his balance right on the rope. He threw the ball back in alright, perhaps a bit harder and faster than Chris anticipated, and as a result, the ball hit him right in the face."

Peter and Chris' dad let out loud roars of laughter and Chris ducks his head, blushing yet again. Jos waits patiently for them to finish before he continues, eyes getting a strange far-off look in them.

"Everyone was laughing for a bit, but then they realised that he wasn't moving, he was just lying on the grass." The table falls silent. To anyone looking in, Chris' small frown combined with his blush would've made him seem mildly embarrassed and annoyed at such a story being told by his 'boyfriend' to his family who are now never going to let him hear the end of it. In reality, he's frowning because this isn't just some made-up story. He vaguely remembers a fielding drill involving him and Mark gone wrong, though the memory of it seems to elude him. 

"I got really worried, I suppose." Jos' voice snaps him out of his daydream. When Chris looks at him, his cheeks had their own dusting of colour. "I ran over from where I had been working on my keeping to check on him. He was really dazed to say the least, he was unsteady when I finally got him on his feet and walked him to the physio. Luckily, it was nothing too serious, the physio had me make sure he took the rest of the day easy and we just... started talking from there I guess. We started hanging out more often and yeah, the rest is history."

Peter gives a loud 'aww' at the conclusion of the story and his mum, a dreamy sigh.

"If only our first meeting were half as exciting as that, eh, Roger?" she says, elbowing Chris' dad in the side. 

"If only," he laughs and turns to Chris with a proud look. "You truly have found yourself a wonderful man."

He smiles weakly in reply and glances at Jos, searching for answers, though Jos doesn't meet his gaze, instead determinately taking a long sip from his glass. 

Suddenly, the memory hits him, just like the ball from that day. He remembers Mark's throw, the ball slipping right past his hands, trying to turn his head at the last second followed by a split-second of dull, jarring pain at his temple. When he opened his eyes again, he'd only seen the sky and the muffled sounds of laughter, as if someone had stuffed his ears with cotton. Then there had been someone carefully helping him get up and make the walk to the physio inside, he couldn't exactly recall who it had been though. He could only remember a strong arm around his middle, keeping him upright and from stumbling face first into the ground. There was a voice telling him to hold on for a little bit more and then suddenly, he was indoors and the voice was telling the physio what had happened. An edge of worry tinted the words, identifiable even in his dazed state. He didn't remember much after that, except that when he returned to complete lucidity, there had only been the physio there with him, no sign of his saviour.

He chances another look at Jos who's now poking at his food idly, not acknowledging Chris even though their hands are still entwined. He quickly disentangles them with a soft sound which goes unnoticed beneath the normal dinnertime chatter that has returned to the table. There's a small downward twist to the corner of Jos' mouth which doesn't go unnoticed by Chris, though he doesn't know what to make of it.

How much of Jos' story had been true? Chris lets himself wonder over the rest dinner and still finds himself wondering when he and Jos stand side-by-side at the sink, washing the dishes. 

And when their hands touch each other beneath the soapy water, he wonders some more, why his heart seems to beat faster in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those wondering, Chris getting hit in the face is a reference to [this](https://www.instagram.com/p/Be0IH2vgepx/) video ~~(I know it's Eoin and not Chris don't call me out please)~~


	4. I'm Dreaming of A White Christmas

"IT IS CHRISTMAS DAY, EVERYBODY!" Is the first thing Chris hears when he wakes up, followed by rapid knocking on his door, loud running down the corridor, followed by more knocking on the doors further down, and thundering footsteps down the stairs. Outside he can hear the gentle pitter-patter melody of the rain. Not quite the dreamlike white Christmas they always hoped for around here, but he could deal with it.

Despite the heater, it's still a bit chilly and Chris groans, shifting closer to the other warm form in the same bed as him.

_Wait._

With mild panic, he opens his eyes and is greeted with a head of soft, brown hair tucked under his chin, a body curled close to him.

Jos' eyes are still shut peacefully despite all of Peter's excited yelling outside. His breaths and quiet snuffles in his sleep ghost over Chris' collarbone and his hands loosely rest in the space between their chests, beside one of his own. Chris notes that their legs are also tangled with one another's, and that his other arm is draped over Jos. Sometime during the night, they appear to have moved closer to each other, much closer, if Chris recalls correctly how far apart they had been the night before, the both of them nearly falling off their sides of the bed out of respect for the other's personal space after Jos had refused to let Chris sleep on the floor. It had been cold, as was expected from Birmingham weather, and from what he could remember during those periods of the night where he was half-awake, they'd both slowly shuffled closer to one another out of the need for warmth and body heat.

After a particularly loud whoop from the living room, Jos' eyes slowly flutter open, his sea glass blue ones meeting Chris' grey. There's a hint of a sleepy smile when he finally seems to focus on Chris.

"Morning."

"Good morning, Jos." Chris can't help but smile back. Jos rolls onto his back, disentangling himself from Chris in the process and stretches, making a sound which makes Chris bite his lip and blush. "What's the time?"

"Absolutely have no clue," he says, sitting up and swinging his legs over his side of the bed, fumbling for his phone somewhere on his bedside table. He lets himself fall onto his back so he can look at Jos who's now reclined against the headboard, looking at something on his own phone. "Peter's probably unwrapped what we got for him by now. Ready to head out?"

"Yeah, let me just grab a jacket or something," Jos replies, getting up and picking a hoodie off the floor. Chris notes that the sleeves fall over his hands, the fabric too long for his arms. He narrows his eyes.

"That one of mine?"

Jos looks down at his hands and shrugs nonchalantly. "I guess so. Are we going to get breakfast and see what your family has gotten you?"

"Yeah, sure." And at that, Chris pushes himself off the bed and makes his way over to the door, opening it and gesturing to Jos. "After you."

***

"Merry Christmas, Chris, Jos," David greets them as they walk into the living room. Peter is busy sitting by the Christmas tree, happily tearing the wrapping off a present labelled with his name. He looks up and beams at the both of them. Sometimes Chris wonders whether or not Peter actually qualifies as an actual older brother.

"Merry Christmas! Thanks for the Villa scarf you got me!"

"Hm? Oh, no worries." He has barely finished speaking before Peter lobs a present at him. His cricket-honed reflexes allow him catch the parcel with ease.

"Open mine first!" Chris just rolls his eyes. He takes a seat on the couch and begins carefully peeling the tape off the thin, festively decorated paper, careful not to tear it. Out of the corner of his vision, he sees David set a present with his name written in a familiar, loopy script beside him, before turning to Jos who is waiting for the kettle to boil in the adjoining kitchen and handing him one of his own.

"For me?" Jos says, sounding very surprised. David gives a slow nod, as if confused that Jos is even asking that question.

"Yes, you're part of the family now, aren't you?" Chris can't help the sharp intake of breath when he hears that. Luckily, it's lost under Peter's loud call of 'Thanks, David!' and more rustling wrapping paper.

"I guess, but-"

"Look, Jos," David's voice drops to barely a murmur, so much so that he has to strain his ears to catch their conversation which is obviously not intended for his ears. "Chris is my little brother, and I'll be damned if anyone breaks his heart. He's had a few boyfriends over the years, but nobody that he's quite been comfortable bringing home, that is until you. I've known you for less than a day but from what I can tell, he likes you. A lot. I know my brother and I see the way he looks at you when he thinks nobody is looking, and all those little touches between the two of you. He trusts you and if you break that trust, believe me, I will find you and make you suffer for it."

He knows he should probably step in and save his 'boyfriend' from being threatened by his brother (and what the hell does David mean by ‘the way he looks at Jos when he thinks nobody is looking?’), but suddenly, Peter is crashing into the seat beside him with his new claret and blue scarf wound tight around his neck, narrowly missing crushing David's present. He's babbling about something or the other, but Chris is desperately trying to tune it out to hear what Jos has to say. Eventually, Peter realises that Chris has heard none of what he's just said and stares at him in bemusement.

"Mate, you haven't even opened your first present, something wrong?'

His eyes flick over Peter's shoulder for a split-second where he sees Jos speaking to David whose stony expression slowly relaxes into an easy smile with a nod.

"Everything's good, just still waking up, I suppose," he laughs quietly and goes back to unwrapping Peter's present to him. What did Jos say to David? Did he want to know? 

He peels the paper back and immediately slaps it back in place once he sees that dreaded crest emblazoned across the royal blue shirt.

"You did not."

"Oh yes I did." Peter is nodding at him with that shit-eating grin which makes him wonder why he bothers being nice to his brother in the first place sometimes.

"I got you a Villa scarf and you get me-" He rips the offending Birmingham City jersey out of the paper, uncaring if it rips, and waves it incredulously in front of his brother's face. "- _this_? I can't believe you! You utter dick! I don't need this from my own family!"

"You have to put it on now."

"No!"

"I put on the Villa scarf."

" _You_ actually support Villa. _We_ actually support Villa. I can't believe you'd actually bring yourself to walk into a shop to buy this!"

"Technically, I didn't," Peter says, looking thoughtful for once. "Wouldn't be caught dead in a shop selling Blues merchandise. In any case, it's a Christmas present, you have to."

"Humour him, Chris," David says as he approaches the both of them, coming to stand behind the sofa. "You know he's going to be pestering you for the rest of the day otherwise."

"I can't believe the two of you," he grumbles as he tugs his shirt over his head. He catches Jos staring as he does, mouth hanging slightly agape. David catches him looking and smirks.

"Don't look so shocked, Jos. You're probably used to seeing all this specimen has to offer on a daily basis."

"David!" He blushes and fumbles blindly for the jersey, all previous annoyance replaced with embarrassment. 

Jos clears his throat and manages a smirk to match David's own. "Doesn't make it any less impressive."

"Not you too, Jos..." He isn't just blushing. His cheeks are on fire and Peter's loud guffawing isn't helping at all. It takes a moment for Jos' words to sink in. Wait, did he just-

"I don't care what you say, Chris," Peter finally manages to say. "We're keeping this guy.

"No, _you're_ not keeping him, _I_ am." The words are out before he can stop them. His gaze snaps to Jos who is now looking even more stunned than before. Fuck, they are meant to be dating, but did that cross the line? Was that too possessive? Shit, it had just felt like the natural thing to say at the time, but then again, he hasn't had a relationship in ages, could he even relationship, let alone fake-relationship, properly at this point? Evidently not if Jos was looking at him like that-

"What's all the fuss about?" his dad yawns as he appears by the door. His eyes settle on Chris in the Blues jersey and they narrow dangerously.

"Dad, it's not what it-"

"I thought I raised you better than this." He turns on his heel and walks straight back through the corridor much to the amusement of Peter and David who are doing their best to stifle their giggling. 

"I swear it's not what it looks like-!" Chris springs off the couch and gives chase and behind him, his brothers erupt into laughter.

Mentally, he makes a note never to be nice to them ever again.

And in the process, he forgets all about asking Jos about what went down between him and David.

***

When his dad has finally calmed down after many promises to burn that horrid shirt once the weather clears up and a good Christmas breakfast, and of course after he's been forced to take a look the rest of the presents his family has given him (the rest of them not nearly as controversial as Peter's), he's finally sat peacefully by himself at the dining table, sipping on a nice, hot coffee and scrolling through Instagram while the rest of his family bustle around the house getting ready for the day ahead.

Chris is surprised when he feels a head rest itself on one of his shoulders and strong arms encircle his middle.

"Don't look now, but I'm pretty sure Peter is spying on us," Jos murmurs in his ear. A sneaky peek at his brother who is by the Christmas tree doing a terrible job of remaining discrete confirms Jos' words.

"Want me to tell him to bugger off?" He turns himself slightly in his seat so he can look at Jos. Were his eyes always that pretty? He must say, those official ECB headshots didn't do them justice.

"Nah, we need to maintain appearances, don't we?" He leans forward to kiss Chris on the forehead. They both ignore the surprised choke behind them and the sound of socked feet running in the direction of David's room. "I also got you a present of your own. Didn't seem appropriate to give it to you just now when you and your family were..." He frees one hand to make a vague gesture, but Chris gets the idea.

"We take sport very seriously in this household," he chuckles quietly before his eyes go wide in realisation. "You didn't have to! I didn't get you one-"

"No matter. I wanted to," Jos says, pulling back to fish around his pockets for the gift. His other hand is still resting lightly on Chris' abdomen.

"No, but really, this is only for three days, Jos, you don't have to take it so seriously." As soon as he says that, Jos freezes, the small wrapped-up parcel clutched tight in his grip.

"R-right," he says slowly, straightening up. His hands move away and Chris is confused as to why he feels a pang of disappointment and loss in his chest. He sets the present down beside Chris' coffee without meeting his eyes. "I'll just leave this here then. Merry Christmas, Chris."

As he walks away, Chris wonders why Jos' voice sounded sad. He'd just spoken the truth, hadn't he? He remembers the small rectangular box by his hand. It would be rude not to open it.

He doesn't know why he takes more care in opening Jos' present, and he doesn't know why his heart seems to thump faster, as if in excitement and anticipation.

Chris gives a soft huff of amusement when he sees the cufflinks shaped into little, red cricket balls. Real cute, Jos.

He tips the cufflinks into his palm and is surprised when a piece of faded card flutters from the back of the box onto the floor. It’s the scorecard from the test at Lord's against Pakistan where he picked up 11 wickets. They'd lost, but seeing his name and bowling figures highlighted in yellow highlighter is enough to bring a smile to his face. He turns it over and sees a message from Jos written on the back.

_"Merry Christmas, Chris!_  
_Here's to more amazing performances like this one from you!_  
_-Jos :)"_

He looks around to thank Jos and the smile fades from his lips when he sees that he's already long gone, the dining room silent save for the sound of his own breathing.

It takes him a second more to realise he can no longer hear the sound of falling rain outside. He turns to the window and his eyes light up with childish glee when he sees white dust beginning to descend from the heavens, blanketing their garden and softening all its edges.

He rushes to the glass, pressing his face up against it like he used to all those years ago, and watches the magical scenery before him unfold. He glances at the scorecard and the cufflinks still in either hand and feels a glow warming him from the inside out from his chest, and can't help the whisper which escapes him despite knowing nobody else will hear it.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Jos."


	5. That Took A Lot of Convincing

It's late afternoon when Chris and Jos are finishing packing their bags and getting ready to leave. Chris' mum stands in the doorway to the bedroom, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed .

"It's too soon, Chris," she sighs. "Do you really have to leave? You've been away for pretty much the entire year."

"You know I wish I could stay longer, mum," he replies, crossing the room and putting his hands on her shoulders. "It's just that duty calls, I guess."

Training doesn't start for ages and their next international game is even further away, but they don't have to know that. Chris wants to ensure that Jos doesn't get uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping in the same bed as him and spending pretty much his entire day with him for more than he has to. The next time Chris pops by, which will be around Easter or something like that, he and Jos will have long 'broken up' and he'll be free to do whatever, but for now, Jos is his priority.

His mum gives him a long look before stepping forward and hugging him tight. He hugs her back. "Next time, you have to stay for longer, alright?"

"Why's Chris leaving so soon anyway?" David seemingly materialises beside them, making Chris jump three feet in the air.

"Jesus, David! Don't do that!" he exclaims, trying to calm his racing heartbeat.

"Sorry," he says, not looking sorry at all. "So, why does Chris have to leave today? Surely the ECB won't be missing him if he stays a few more days for New Year's."

"That's an excellent idea." Chris sees his dad walking down the corridor to them. Shit, what does he do now.

"Yes, but I'm sure Jos has his own plans with his own friends and family, don't you, Jos?" 

"Not really." He has to physically stop himself from doing a double take at that, digging his nails into his palms. What? He'd assumed Jos would've wanted to leave this place as soon as possible, but apparently not? "I wouldn't mind staying for a few more days. Was just planning for going down to a pub and getting drunk, that's about all, really."

"So it's settled then," his mum says brightly. "You're staying until after New Year's. You'd best get unpacking again."

"But wait, are you guys sure this isn't going to be too much of an inconvenience? We only planned to stay until today, surely we must be disrupting some plans of yours, and also-"

"Oh stop that, Christopher." David hushes him. "We'll make do. Stop being so considerate all the time!"

"Yeah, but-"

"Shhhhh." He places a finger on his lips, effectively silencing him. "Go on now, little brother. Get unpacking before I regret my decision to keep you around. It's as if you don't want to be around us. Jos seems perfectly fine, on the other hand."

"That's not true!"

"Then what's the issue?" David fixes him with that no-nonsense older brother face. He wants to protest but quickly realises that he can't. He's been making a fuss because he's been worried about Jos, but Jos has now said that he's happy to stay, so what exactly is he doing, arguing for no reason?

They all take his silence as enough of an answer.

"We'll see you both for dinner then," his dad beams and ushers the rest of them out. Chris stands there with an awkward smile, waiting for them to leave.

As soon as the door clicks shut, he whirls on Jos. "Are you sure about all of this?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Jos gives him a puzzled look.

"Like..." He throws his hands up as if they could pull the words he needs out of the thin air. "I don't know."

"Hey, Chris." Jos stands up so he can properly communicate with him without looking up at him from the floor where he'd been packing. "I genuinely had no set plans for New Year's, and besides, your family is great, I think they all like me. I don't mind spending a few more days here to help you out."

"To help me out, right..." The words feel odd on his tongue when he says them. Even though they'd only been 'together' for less than three days, what they had felt different from a guy just helping out his mate. Chris couldn't put his finger on how so though.

"Something the matter, mate?" Jos places a hand on his cheek, forcing Chris to look at him. Jos is looking at him, concerned. He shakes his head and forces himself to smile.

"Nothing, everything's great!" He trots over to his suitcase and unzips it. "Let's finish unpacking so we can go help Peter with dinner."

"Was it really a wise decision leaving Peter alone in the kitchen?" Chris can't help but laugh at that. Even though Jos hasn't been here long, he's picked up so much about the family and has fit in seamlessly, as if he was one of them to begin with.

"He may seem like an idiot, but he's probably the best at cooking out of me, him, and David."

"I mean, having tasted your cooking before, that's not saying much."

Chris throws a shirt at Jos, catching him by surprise, making him trip over his suitcase and go tumbling to the floor. He sits there stunned for a few moments before they both break out into giggles.

Maybe spending the next few days with Jos isn't going to be so bad for either of them after all.


	6. A Beautiful Sight

"Can these even be called bloody 'Boxing Day specials' at this point? It's the 29th, for God's sake!"

"Do you think it's going to go down well if we buy Hales some Regaine?" They'd been buying presents for all of their friends over the past few days and of course, Jos was, and still is, less than enthused over the entire thing. 

"He _is_ thinning a bit on the top." Jos scrunches his nose in thought and Chris takes that as enough of an answer to swipe half the shelf into his shopping basket. "No, but seriously, Boxing Day was three days ago. There has to be a law against calling these specials 'Boxing Day' ones. It's probably false advertising or something, I don't know."

Chris hums noncommittally and begins walking to the checkout, Jos continuing to rave and ramble behind him. He smiles at the lady at the checkout, ignoring the odd looks she gives the two of them as her eyes flick between the basket full of hair loss medication and Chris and Jos' full heads of hair. 

"Who's next on the list?" Chris asks once they leave the store, hands full of bags of late Christmas presents for their teammates which will be handed out once they're back. Jos pulls his phone out with an eye roll.

"Just Joe left. Surely we get him some socks of his own so he stops snipping holes in everyone else's-"

"Jos." Chris stops abruptly and Jos nearly bumps into his back.

"Yeah, what?"

"Are you bored of shopping yet?"

"Thanks for asking now and not two, three days ago, mate." He rolls his eyes again. Chris is surprised at how they haven't rolled out of his head, the past three days.

"Was that a yes?"

"The hell are you even looking at?" Jos follows Chris' excited gaze and spots two girls, chatting excitedly about something as they stroll down the street, the sunlight glinting off the ice skates hanging over both of their shoulders. 

"Chris, no-"

"Jos, yes!" He sprints over to where the car has been parked, chucking his bags in and thanking his subconscious for not buying anything (too) breakable. "I can't believe we've been here for five days and I haven't taken you to the Christmas Ice Rink and Big Wheel!"

"Chris, I don't think that-" His protests are drowned out by Chris' excited chatter as he snatches the bags out of his hands and locks them in the car. He grabs Jos' hand and begins tugging him in the direction the girls had gone.

"Hurry up, Jos! Before the queue gets too long!"

"Chris, listen-" He is once again silenced by the loud whoop Chris lets out when the little showground comes into view, complete with all its small pop-up shops in the market, ice rink, Ferris wheel and various other rides. Chris all but sprints in the familiar direction of the counter where he knows they will be able to rent some skates, Jos' hand still in a death grip in his as they weave between the children and stall vendors.

"Skates for two adults." He slaps two £10 notes on the counter. "Keep the change."

The man behind the counter blinks at him a few times before walking off dazedly to get the ice skates. Jos takes the moment to rip his hand out of Chris'.

"Chris, for fuck's sake, I can't skate!"

Chris freezes and slowly turns to Jos. "You can't... skate?"

"No! I can't! That's what I was trying to tell you!" Jos pushes a hand through his hair and bites his lip. He's blushing and so is Chris.

The man comes back with two pairs, peers at both of their feet before giving a brisk nod and handing them over to Chris.

"I'll teach you!" Chris exclaims, getting excited again and pushing a pair into Jos' hands. He fumbles with them for a second but manages to keep his hold on them.

"I don't suppose I have a choice, do I?" Jos sighs and plops down onto a bench, unlacing his shoes and trying to wedge the skates onto his feet, Chris helping him every step of the way.

"Perfect!" Chris gets to his feet and walks over to the edge of the rink with ease. He beckons Jos, overly enthusiastic about the entire thing. "Let's go!"

Jos stares blankly at Chris. Stares at the thin blades on the bottom of his boots. And back at Chris again.

"Stop being such a wuss," Chris huffs, taking a few steps in Jos' direction, grabbing his hands and hauling him off the bench. Jos gives a yelp and stumbles into him and somehow, Chris still manages to hold his balance.

"You need to open your eyes to see where you're going to be skating, Jos," he chuckles, and Jos warily cracks them open. He's pressed flush against Chris who in turn, has an arm wrapped around him, keeping him steady. "Come on, now, it's easier than it looks."

At that, he lets go of Jos and steps onto the ice, gliding around in a quick circle to get used to the skates once again before stopping and calling out to Jos. "Come along, Jos!"

A kid half of Jos' height sprints past him with a giggle and takes off on the ice, gliding effortlessly to her older siblings. Seeing that, Jos sets his jaw in determination and awkwardly stomps towards the rink.

As soon as he sets foot on the ice, it feels like his feet suddenly go out from under him and he scrabbles for the low walls on the side to keep him from going down face first and taking out all of his teeth. He glares at Chris whose shoulders are shaking with barely concealed laughter. 

"Sorry, sorry," Chris says, wiping his eyes with gloved hands. He comes to stand beside Jos, gently prising his hands from the wall and taking them in his. "Okay, I want you to keep your knees slightly bent, lower centre of gravity and all that will make it easier."

Jos does that and almost immediately feels more steady. He looks away from his feet to Chris for his next instructions.

"Okay, now I want you to push your feet in an outwards direction, so you're gliding, not walking."

He tentatively pushes one foot in front of the other and stumbles. Luckily, Chris has a firm hold on his hands. "Don't worry, I've got you."

Slowly, he begins to get the hang of it, skating across the ice with Chris to guide him. 

"Okay, I'm going to let go now," Chris says and detaches himself from Jos before he can react, leaving him stranded in the middle of the ice rink. Chris skates in wide circles around him, making it look effortless. "Glide, Jos, glide! Remember what I taught you!"

He takes a breath and replays Chris' instructions in his head, pushing one foot forward, and then the other, and slowly, but surely, he's getting the hand of things.

He smiles as he doesn't slip, looking around for Chris who is a few metres in front of him, beaming at him. He laughs as his feet move across the ice without resistance, as if he's walking on air. "Chris! I'm ice skating!"

"Yes, Jos, you're doing amazing!" Wait, Chris' words sound way closer than before, and they're getting louder.

He looks up from his feet to see Chris less than a metre from him and suddenly realises that he doesn't know how to stop.

"Shi-" Is all he manages before he crashes into Chris, sending them both to the ice. 

If there's one thing Jos learns from this experience, it's that ice is a lot more slippery and hard than turf. As he falls, his wicketkeeper instincts kick in as he twists to try to roll safely, as if he's taken a one handed catch, but his hand skids off the smooth surface and so does his shoulder as it touches the ground, sending him sliding a few metres across the ice in an ungraceful sprawl.

Chris, having grown up ice skating in the winter, manages to fall with somewhat more dignity, ending up sitting on the ice with his legs stretched out in front of him. He watches as Jos tries to push himself up but ends up faceplanting after his hands slip out from beneath him.

Chris laughs out loud and Jos tries to glare, but his stern expression cracks and he finds himself giggling as well. 

Neither one of them cares if everyone around them begins to stare.

***

The Sun begins to set around four, and after Chris and Jos have long since cleared off the ice and have sufficiently sated themselves with various fair foods and games around the market, Chris is dragging Jos to the massive Ferris wheel.

"Aren't you wicketkeepers meant to be fast? Where's your pace, Jos?" Chris laughs. He's holding Jos' hand again as they navigate through the crowd. He can't explain it, but Jos' hand just feels... right in his.

"Jonny's the only exception, don't generalise," Jos grins back at him as they come to a stop in front of the Ferris wheel hut. Chris goes to pay, but Jos beats him to it, sliding £5 over the till. "You paid for the skates, it's only fair that I pay for the wheel."

"Fair enough," Chris says as they are ushered into a cabin and the attendant closes the door behind them.

They make small talk as they rise higher and higher into the sky, watching the Sun dip further beneath the horizon. As they near the top, Chris cuts Jos off mid-sentence. 

"Chris, what's up?" Jos asks with a bemused look. Chris shushes him and points out to the distance past him.

"Look!" Jos peers out of the cabin and watches as the last rays of sunlight fade from the twilight sky. There is no enveloping darkness though, the expanse beneath them left illuminated only by the multicoloured city lights and the fluorescent tubes wound around the wheel.

Chris watches as Jos' eyes widen in amazement as they take in the wondrous sight before them. It's a sight Chris is used to seeing every year, yet that does not make it any less amazing, he's willing to admit. Before today, he would've thought that nothing could've quite matched up the view of Birmingham atop the Christmas Big Wheel. 

That is until he turns to face the man sitting across from him. 

The ever-changing, coloured lights ringing their cabin cast soft shadows across his features and are reflected in his eyes, making them shine even brighter than before. There's that hint of that small smile with dimples on either side of it and laughter lines crinkling at the corners of his eyes. Surprisingly, the wind isn't too harsh today, being just a gentle breeze which teases the brown strands of Jos' hair from his careful do. The distracted hand he runs through his hair to move them back into place doesn't do much, instead dislodging more of them in a manner Chris should not find endearing.

"This view is nothing like I've seen before. It's amazing, beautiful," Jos whispers, too focused on the sights to notice Chris staring at him.

"Yeah, it really is," Chris says.

Later as he lies in bed, snow falling soundlessly outside his window with Jos curled up at his side, dead to the world, he wonders what, or rather who, he had been thinking of when he'd said that.


	7. And A Happy New Year

"-and then he asks whether or not his parents know where he is at this time of night! So first, the bouncer asks for his ID, then he gets refused a drink from the bar, and then that!"

Chris' family all laugh as Jos recounts Joe's club misadventures. Chris has heard all of them too many times, but for some reason, when Jos tells the story, face flushed and eyes bright from the beers they've all had, he can't help but listen with intent, hanging off of every word spoken by those pink lips.

He leans back on the couch, shifting fractionally closer to Jos and throwing a casual arm across the back of his seat. He takes another sip of his beer. "How much longer?"

"Less than half an hour now, Chris," Peter says, checking his watch. His girlfriend is over and so is David's, the both of them sitting next to their respective partners. "Don't get impatient."

"Might as well do something to pass the time," their dad says, setting down his wine glass with a loud clink. He slaps his palms on his knees and leans towards Chris and Jos, staring at them intently. "Do you two dance?"

"Dad, no," Chris says as firmly as he can. "We're not dancing."

"Why not?" his mum says, taking a sip from her own glass and pointing it at the both of them. "Your father and I dance all the time, and you're going to have to learn for your wedding anyway."

"Christ, mum," he mutters putting his head in his hands in frustration. "I don't even know how to dance in the first place!"

"I can teach you." He turns in surprise to the soft voice beside him and Jos shrugs. "I learned while I was in school."

"Posh private school boys..." he snorts, picking up his beer again and taking a sip. Jos jabs him in the side. "Hey! Only stating a fact!"

"Up you get, Christopher," David says, grabbing both his and Jos' wrists and pulling them to their feet.

"Oi!" he protests, trying to sit back down only to see David's girlfriend lying across the couch, taking up the entire thing. She arches a perfectly shaped eyebrow and he hesitates. Chris knows from experience that she is not someone to be reckoned with.

Peter fiddles with his phone before chucking it into an empty mug, the strains of a familiar haunting, string melody echoing throughout the room.

_"I could stay awake, just to hear you breathing,  
Watch you smile while you are sleeping..."_

"No," he shakes his head, making his way to the mug to tip it over and stop the music, but David comes up behind him, hooking his arms under his and lifting him off the ground. He kicks and flails, trying to escape. "You guys are not doing this to me!"

"Oh stop with all the fuss, Chris," his mum says somewhere behind him. He would turn to face her, but his annoying older brother is currently restraining him. "What's wrong with dancing with Jos anyway?"

That makes him stop. He glances at Jos who is now looking considerably less comfortable compared to how he'd been five minutes prior, shifting from foot to foot and hesitantly peering up at Chris.

"We don't have to if you don't want to-"

"No! No, it's all good. Let's dance." He feels David let go of him but barely registers it, too entranced in the brilliant smile Jos gives him, seemingly with a touch of relief in it, but it's beautiful nonetheless.

_"When every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure..."_

The music crescendoes to the chorus and Chris feels a pressure at the small of his back, pushing him towards Jos.

"Okay, your hand goes here." His mum moves his hand to Jos' shoulder. "And your hand goes- very good, Jos!" she exclaims as Jos' arm snakes around his middle without her prompting. He gives her a sheepish smile.

"I did say I learned how to dance in school."

"Like I said, posh private school boys."

Jos snorts as he takes Chris' free hand with his and laces their fingers together. He feels his cheeks heat and he wonders whether Jos can feel exactly how hard his heart is beating in chest, the both of them practically pressed against each other.

They are walked through the steps, barely in time with the music mostly because Chris keeps treading on Jos' toes and having to apologise. Jos doesn't seem to mind though, smiling and trying his best to maneuver Chris back into position instead. There is colour high on Jos' cheeks but he just chalks it up to the alcohol all of them have had. Distantly, he notes the song ending, but the silence doesn't last, the familiar notes of the introduction repeating themselves.

Slowly, his mum's instructions stop and it's just him and Jos moving to the tempo of the song. Peter and his own girlfriend have gotten up, trying to replicate the dance with his dad's help, albeit with much more giggling and fumbling, though Chris finds it's easy to tune them out, instead focusing on Jos' hand in his, Jos' arm around him, Jos' heartbeat in time with his and the music's beat in the background, just... Jos.

He's looking up at Chris through his lashes, eyes dark and hooded.

 _"Lying close to you,_  
_Feeling your heart beating,_  
_And I'm wondering what you're dreaming,_  
_Wondering if it's me your seeing..."_

He remembers all those late nights when he can't sleep. Sleep hasn't come easy to him recently, for he's usually too distracted by the man who's been lying next to him the past few days. He remembers how the moonlight works its way through the cracks in the curtains, only occasionally being shadowed by the falling snowflakes which dance in the breeze outside and cast mesmerising patterns across Jos' sleeping features. He remembers the quiet snuffles Jos makes as he snuggles closer to Chris, whether for heat because it's cold or just for contact, he's not sure, but he always obliges one way or another and puts his arms around him. Sleep always finds him soon after he's done that. Sometimes Jos has a smile on his face when he's asleep, as if he's having a really good dream. Chris wonders about what or who he's thinking about as he sleeps. Possibly some bird back in Somerset he's being kept from by all of this. He's got to have someone back home, handsome young lad like him. Annoyance flashes across his mind which quickly fades into confusion. Now, where had that come from?

In his distracted state, he accidentally steps on Jos' foot, drawing a sound of surprise from him. He apologises quickly, but as per usual, Jos smiles at him again and quietly tells him not to.

_"And then I kiss your eyes,_  
_And thank God we're together,_  
_I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever,_  
_Forever and ever..."_

He could almost snort at the lyrics. The entire family thinks they're together, but they're not, really. They've put up a bloody good show, but in a month or two, he'll call them up and tell them he and Jos broke up. Forever and ever... huh, as if that would ever happen between them, though he must admit, what he's having with Jos is quite fun, it feels... normal? Natural? Maybe he wouldn't mind if they stayed for a few more days-

A flash goes off over Jos shoulder and his head snaps in its direction, only seeing David's girlfriend holding her Polaroid camera up. David has an arm over her shoulders and gives him a small wave. Chris sticks his tongue out of them and Jos twists around to see who he's looking at, giving a fond huff when he sees who it is. They don't stop dancing, not missing a beat as the chorus repeats itself once more.

_"I don't wanna close my eyes,_  
_I don't wanna fall asleep,_  
_'Cause I'd miss you babe,_  
_And I don't wanna miss a thing,_  
_'Cause even when I dream of you,_  
_The sweetest dream would never do,_  
_I'd still miss you babe,_  
_And I don't wanna miss a thing..."_

Jos leans his head against Chris' shoulder, his content hum resonating through Chris' chest not unpleasantly. He leans forward and catches a whiff of Jos' scent. It smells like the Summer so far away from them. Like sunshine, freshly cut grass, and freshly brewed coffee, the type he makes Chris when he stumbles out of bed bleary-eyed and rumpled. It's nice.

He can't help but wish that the New Year would never arrive, and that he and Jos could live in this single moment, forever and ever, if he's being perfectly honest with himself.

He doesn't know how long they dance for, only that it's not for long enough, because suddenly Peter is shouting. Thirty seconds to the new year.

Everyone rushes down the hall and Chris hears the front door thrown open. Everyone except Chris and Jos who are too wrapped up in each other, the music still playing softly in the background.

_"And I don't wanna miss one smile,_  
_I don't wanna miss one kiss..."_

"We should probably join them," Chris whispers, lost in sea glass blue depths. "There'll be fireworks soon."

_"I just wanna be with you,_  
_Right here with you, just like this..."_

"Yeah, we probably should," Jos replies, though he doesn't make to move. Chris doesn't either. His hand seems to move out of its own accord from Jos' shoulder, running down his bicep, his forearm, and finding the hand at his waist, twining their fingers together. He brings their clasped hands between their chests, over both of their hearts.

_"Well, I just wanna hold you close..."_

**"3!"**

The voices get louder as the countdown nears its end, but Chris doesn't care.

_"And feel your heart so close to mine..."_

**"2!"**

Jos steps fractionally closer, tilting his head up to Chris. He inhales sharply as he realises what's about to happen. He knows he shouldn't, but his sense of reason is dulled by the alcohol in his system.

_"And just stay here in this moment..."_

**"1!"**

Fuck it. He shuts his eyes and leans in and so does Jos at the same time.

_"For all the rest of time."_

**"Happy New Year!"**

Their lips meet just as the joyous shouting and fireworks begin, but Chris doesn't hear any of it over the blood rushing in his ears. Kissing Jos is the easiest thing in the world, their lips slot together like two pieces of an incomplete puzzle. His lips are soft, softer than Chris would've ever imagined (not that he'd spent much time thinking about it, truly...) and it's pure bliss, like taking a breath of fresh air after being underwater for a long time. Except Chris hadn't even realised he'd been underwater up until now. 

"Happy New Year- woah!" Chris' eyes fly open and he rips himself from Jos', stumbling back a few feet. He sees Peter whose surprised expression is quickly morphing into a smile. The rest of the family appears behind him and he turns around, shepherding them back to where they'd come from. "Nothing to see here, lads. Let's give these two some privacy."

He drops a wink over his shoulder and Chris feels himself blush even more, looking away as the footsteps retreat outside where he can hear the distant pop and bang of fireworks accompanied by oohs and aahs.

"Chris, I-" He stiffens as he hears Jos' hoarse voice and holds a hand up to stop him from saying anything he might regret. The alcohol has already shown its effects, no need to worsen them.

"It's okay, Jos," he says, forcing himself to meet Jos' gaze. "They're not here anymore, you don't have to pretend. I get it, don't worry, we're both more than a bit drunk at the moment. Go to sleep before you regret it tomorrow morning."

"Pretend..." Jos echoes, what appears to be hurt and sadness flitting through his expressions for a split-second before it disappears, replaced with impassivity. The bursts of multi-coloured light from outside only serve to sharpen his hard expression and cast harsh shadows across his face. There's a painful twist in Chris' heart at seeing that face, so often with a smile on it, look so cold. "Of course. I'm sorry. I'd best head off to bed then."

He walks off, away from Chris. Shit, he doesn't know how, but he's fucked up. Fucked up real bad. He's got to do something, anything.

He strides forward and catches, Jos' wrist. Jos freezes but doesn't pull away. That's... good? He struggles to find the words but they eventually do come to him.

"We're still mates yeah?"

There's a beat of silence. Two beats. Three. 

"Yeah, _just_ mates," Jos spits and this time, he does yank his hand from Chris' with a bit more force than necessary and stalk off to the bedroom, slamming the door loud enough to be heard by Chris on the floor below. He stands in the middle of the living room, feeling lost for the first time without Jos.

He slumps down onto the couch, a strong sense of loss gnawing at him as he puts his head in his hands.

"Happy New Year, Jos..."

Beside him, the tinny sound of music from Peter's phone in the mug plays on.

_"Don't want to close my eyes,_  
_I don't wanna fall asleep, yeah,_  
_I don't wanna miss a thing."_


	8. Knowing You're in Love With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LAST CHAPTER PEOPLE

No, he doesn't want to open his eyes. His head hurts. His neck hurts. The Sun is beaming through the windows right onto his face. Fuck, just make it stop.

He rolls over with a groan only to find that there are no soft cushions where he's just moved to, only empty air, and Chris promptly falls to the ground with a yelp.

Now that does make him open his eyes. 

"Morning, Chris." He squints from where he is on the floor and sees David by the coffee machine in the kitchen. He pours the fresh brew into two mugs and walks to the living room, taking a seat on the couch Chris has just fallen off. He places one of the mugs right in front of Chris' face, close enough for him to feel the pleasant warmth radiating off it, and begins sipping from the other.

Chris sits up with much effort and gropes around for the coffee, desperate for his morning caffeine fix, even more so while hungover. He pulls a face as he takes a big gulp. It's different. Not the way he's used to. Not the way Jos makes them.

"We need to talk," David says, setting his mug to the side and leaning forward, towards Chris. His voice is loud in the silent room and it makes his head hurt.

"Can it wait?" Chris winces. David shakes his head.

"No, it can't," he states firmly in that no nonsense tone of his. "It's about Jos."

"Where is he?"

"He's gone out to get groceries with mum, but that's not the point. The point is, you're an idiot."

"You've said it so many times it's lost its effect now, I think," Chris tries to joke, but when he looks up, David is not smiling.

"Chris, I don't know what happened between you two last night and you don't have to tell me, but getting blackout drunk and passing out on the couch probably wasn't the solution to all your problems."

"Nothing happened," he says a bit too quickly and a bit too defensively, taking a long gulp of his coffee, just so he won't have to look at David. He knows from his nearly thirty years of experience that all it takes for David to know all his secrets without him having to say a word is just one solid stare.

In the corner of his peripheral vision, he can see David staring at him intently with his brows knitted together and his fingers steepled beneath his chin. There's a long silence before he finally speaks.

"Fine," David sighs, sitting back. "Don't tell me, but at least listen to what I have to say."

"I'm listening." Chris stands and takes the seat next to his brother on the couch. It's far more comfortable than the floor. 

"I can tell something happened last night, and don't you try to deny it. It's unlike you to do what you did last night." He shoots Chris a concerned look. Okay so maybe drinking his unreasonable and unaccountable sorrows away in his family home and blacking out hadn't been the smartest idea, he'll give David that. "And then this morning, Jos was just... off. He's only been here for barely over a week, but I could tell. For starters, you guys didn't even sleep in the same room together like you have been this entire time, then when he came to get breakfast, he didn't even spare you a second glance, and he was really quiet over breakfast. He managed to drop a plate while taking it to the sink, and on that note, how much did you drink last night to not hear a shattering plate on a tiled floor? Christ, Chris, take better care of yourself next time."

"Okay! I'll try," he exclaims, batting David's hand away as he tries to cuff him on the back of the head. He smiles a little at that.

"Well, anyway," David says, putting his serious face back on as best he can. "What I guess I'm trying to say is that you two are obviously going through a bit of a rough patch in your relationship-"

"You don't know half of what's going on," Chris chuckles.

"Hush, Christopher. I'm trying to have a serious talk here," David shushes him and Chris can't help but roll his eyes. "As I was saying, you're both going through a rough patch in your relationship, but being your older brother who has lived longer than you, I'm going to give you a small tip and tell you that nothing can't be sorted out without a bit of talking."

"I don't know, David," he mumbles, slumping a bit in his seat. "I think Jos is a bit done with me at the moment, and I don't even know why."

"Ah, that's where you've made your first mistake, young Christopher." There's a finger wagging in his face and he bats it out of the way with a snort. "You're _assuming_ he's done with you. This is where communication comes into play. Heard of it before? You know, the one thing which holds good, functioning relationships together? Are you even sure you're 'relationship-ing' correctly if you're just moping around and not asking him what you've done wrong because you don't know? God, you can be thick sometimes."

"Ugh, piss off, David!" he growls and punches his brother in the arm. Everything is so confusing right now. He can't exactly tell David that they're not in a relationship, but he does suppose that what he's just been told does have some meaning behind it.

"What would you do without me," he laughs and they fall into companionable silence which is eventually broken when David pipes up again. "Hey, I'm going to tell you something, but you've got to promise not to tell Jos."

"Hmm? Why not?"

"He kind of made me promise not to tell you, but desperate times call for desperate measures I suppose." He shrugs. "At this rate with both of your sulking, I think all the unspoken stuff between you two needs to be put out there to save this relationship."

"We're not-" He has to stop himself from saying it. Everything is just so frustrating. David is staring at him expectantly and Chris just gestures wildly in the air to try to articulate his thoughts, but instead blurts out the second worst thing he could possibly say. "I'm not even sure how I feel about him right now!"

It's not precisely the truth, but it's not a lie either. David's eyebrows shoot up into his hairline and he blinks a few times.

"Is this really what I think it's about, Chris? Do you want to break up with Jos?"

"What? No!" he shouts and immediately flinches, his own voice too loud for him. "No, it's just... ugh! I can't explain it!" He throws his hands up in the air. He's getting flustered and he's sure it shows on his cheeks.

"Okay, maybe listen to what I have to say first and we'll figure things out from there, yeah?" He nods slowly and David shifts closer to him. He takes a deep breath. "So I may have given Jos 'The Talk'."

"The _what_ now?"

"You know." He makes an odd gesture with his hands. Chris can see where he got the gesturing thing from. "The talk the older sibling gives the younger sibling's partner, the one where I get all like 'if you hurt my little brother, I'll hunt you down and-"

"Jesus Christ, David." Chris presses the heels of his palms to his eyes. "You can't just do that! It's embarrassing! I'm not that much younger than you and we aren't in secondary school anymore!"

"I know, but I did it anyway," David says holding his hands up in mock surrender and rolling his eyes. "So that happened, and I wanted to make sure he's not in it solely for your looks or your money or whatever, and do you know what he said?"

"I wouldn't be listening to you if I knew, would I?"

"Cut the attitude, Christopher, it'll get you nowhere," he huffs and flicks Chris' ear. "Basically, he said that he's head-over-heels in love with you. Has been since the first time he saw you even though he's only really gotten to know the 'real you' since you guys actually started talking, but that's only made him love you more. He doesn't care about your money or your looks even though he did admit that those were a real bonus-" Chris kicks his ankle does his best to hide his blush. "Hey! Just saying what he said! He said he'd love you no matter what, that he wants to spend the rest of his days with you, hold your hand and walk through whatever challenges life throws at you. Grow old and retire with you and wish for nothing because you're all he needs in this world. Wake up in the morning and see you as the first thing he sees. You know, he was spouting all of that real cheesy stuff-"

"Go on," Chris interrupts.

"...I'm sorry, what?"

"I said 'go on'. Tell me everything he said, don't just stop there."

"Okay," David says slowly, uncertainly, but obliges anyway. "He said he wants to be the one to make you smile every morning. The one who he can sit next to during late nights and count the stars with, not caring about what the morning will bring. He wants to get to know you better, what you love, what you hate, what your favourite colour is, what you like doing in your spare time... Need I really go on? All this talking is giving me cavities, I swear."

He laughs as if expecting Chris to laugh with him and is surprised when it's only his laughter he hears.

"Chris...? You alright, mate?"

His heart is thudding in his chest harder than he'd thought possible. Blood is rushing in his ears and his thoughts fly through his head at supersonic speeds. Did Jos really say all that? About him? More importantly, did he mean all of that? Everything about love and wishing to live his days with Chris by his side? It was... touching. No, much more than that. More than Chris could put to words. He turns to David with an odd look akin to fear, uncertainty, hope.

"What... why is my heart beating so fast?" he manages to get out. His eyes go wide at the unfamiliar sensation he gets in his chest when he thinks of Jos and his smile and eyes, the way his arms had been around him the night before and everything else. He clutches at his chest. "David, am I dying?"

"Pretty sure that's called 'feelings', Christopher." David sits back and smirks. "You're meant to have that in a relationship, if you didn't already know."

"Feelings?" he squeaks and David laughs.

"Yes, _feelings_. Contrary to popular belief, men are capable of them. Jos seems to be in touch with his lots, actually."

"Feelings..." he echoes, rolling the word around in his mouth.

"Yes, Chris. Did you not hear me the first time? You and Jos have _feelings_ for each other. Very strong ones in fact, just about anyone can see them."

"They can?" He's learning so many new things today. David throws his arms up in frustration.

"Uh, yes!" he scoffs. "Nobody misses those little gazes you two give each other when you think the other isn't looking, or those little touches when you start to get comfy with each other. Hell, let me just..."

He jams his hands in his pockets, rummaging around for a few moments before his face lights up and he pulls a small slip from one of them. He waves it under Chris’ nose.

"Look!"

"Alright! Calm down a little..." Chris mutters, taking what he has in his hand from him. It's a Polaroid photo. Like one of those from the camera David's girlfriend- oh.

The fairy lights strung up around the room had been lit when the picture had been taken, giving the image a warm, fuzzy quality which he can't say he dislikes. The rest of the background is dark, the main focus of the image being the two figures in the middle. Jos is half turned away from the camera, his back to the lens yet not quite. He can still catch the almost profile of his face, small smile just visible as he stares up at Chris. Looking at himself, Chris realises that when he'd been lost in thought, he'd zoned out staring at Jos in a manner which can only be described as dreamy. He's smiling as well and they're both blushing. Undoubtedly because of the winter chill and the alcohol last night, but wrapped up in each other's arms like that, they look like they're blushing because of each other, like they're a real couple.

A real couple... It doesn't feel strange thinking about them as a 'real' couple. They've already done so many 'couple-y' things, just thinking about it. Jos agreed to come home and visit the family with him, they've held hands, David has given Jos 'The Talk', they've slept in the same bed, Chris distantly remembers Jos looking at him when he thinks he won’t notice (it's not that he's been ignoring it consciously, it's like a fog has been lifted and he's only noticing these things now), Jos got him a Christmas present because he 'wanted to', Chris has caught himself zoning out while focused on Jos more and more often recently, Jos has kissed him, they've danced together- oh shit, they're basically a couple already, aren't they?

But are they really? Or are they just really good at pretending? Maybe, but he's not sure how his thoughts drift to Jos whenever he's not (un)consciously reeling them in is a manner which can quite be called platonic.

"Fuuuck." He leans back into the couch, throwing an arm over his face, realisation dawning on him. He'd fallen for Jos somewhere along the way but he'd been a bit daft, not even realising it. Feelings are funny things. David pats him sympathetically on the back. "I fucked up big time."

"I know you have," he says soothingly. "But do you remember what I said you should do at the start of this discussion?".

"...Talk to him?"

David pretends to wipe tears away. "They grow up so fast..."

"Oh fuck off," he growls and pounces on David who ducks out of the way, managing to wrestle him into a noogie. They struggle on the couch, laughing and shrieking for a bit before the front door opens.

"What are you boys doing?" his mum says, a grocery bag in each hand as she steps into the room. Behind her is Jos carrying at least eight more. As David and Chris scramble to sit in some position more reflective of their ages, Chris somehow manages to make eye contact with Jos'. He's got bags under his eyes, as if he hadn't slept well last night. He looks tired, sad almost, but before Chris can stare any further, he looks away, opening the fridge and putting away the groceries. 

As his mum potters about the kitchen, taking about what they'll have for lunch, he exchanges a look with David who gives him a nod. 

He knows what he had to do. 

He just hopes he hasn't already messed things up beyond repair already.

***

"Hey, Jos," he says, quietly closing the door behind him. Jos is kneeling on the floor by the bed, folding the last of his clothes and packing them away for the journey back tomorrow. "Can we talk?"

Jos' hands seem to falter in their movements for a moment but he nods, giving Chris all the encouragement he needs. He takes a deep breath.

_Here goes._

"So about last night..." He reaches behind his head and scratches the back of his neck. "The alcohol wasn't all there was between us, yeah?"

"I don't know why you're bringing this up, Chris," Jos says flatly, still not facing him and continuing to fold his clothes. "We've both been in close quarters for over a week and there were drinks yesterday. I apologise, but I don't think there's anything to talk about."

"That's not it!" he cries hurriedly before stopping and taking a deep breath. The last thing he wants to do is scare Jos off more than he already has. "Look, I know I can be a bit dense sometimes, but David has opened my eyes to a few things and- please, Jos, just turn around!"

"Turn around..." There's anger simmering in Jos' voice and a barely perceptible tremor. His spine is rigid as he turns and fixes Chris with a glare. "Turn around so you can tell me what? That David told you that I've been madly in love with you since day one and my feelings are unrequited? That you can't tolerate the idea?"

"Jos, that's not-"

"No," Jos cuts him off, forcing the words out from behind gritted teeth. "You said what you thought last night, and I can understand that, but don't try to make this about me. This entire... thing, performance we were putting on for your family might not have meant anything to you, but _by God_ , it meant something to me! There were times I thought you felt the same way, but you were always quick to remind me of the reality I was faced with, that the feelings I thought you had for me was just a mere illusion."

He glowers at Chris for a few long moments before the fight seemingly drains out of him and his shoulders slump. He drops onto the bed, holding his head in his hands. "You're a dick, Chris. An absolute, utter dick."

He's left in stunned silence and it's a while before he speaks. "So, what David told me was true then?"

"What do you think?" Jos tries to snap. "If it's what I think he told you, then yeah, I suppose."

"Every word of it?"

"Cut the crap, Chris," Jos says, looking up at him. "Why do you think I agreed to this thing in the first place? Why would I willingly make a fool of myself just so you could save face? It's because I'm in fucking love with you and I hate it. Everyone can see it, even your family who I've barely known. I should've listened to Joe when he told me this was all a bad idea, that I was going to get hurt... We barely knew each other before this. I don't even know why you asked me..."

"Hey, that's-"

"Not true? An unfair statement?" he scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Save it, I don't want to hear it. Just about everyone can see I'm out of your league. What was this to you? Some sick form of pity?"

"So first off, I'm not 'out of your league'," he says with air quotes and Jos looks up wearily. "Second, I'm not sure I've even heard that term used since secondary school."

"What are you trying to say Chris?"

"I can be a bit dense and oblivious sometimes-"

"Yeah, no shit," Jos interrupts with a wry smile.

"-to many things," Chris continues, desperate to just say what he means. "Your feelings, my feelings, what this entire thing actually means. When I first asked you for all of this, I did it because you were a friend, but since spending all this time with you... I'm not sure just friendship is what I want."

Jos' eyes go wide and he shakes his head. "No, but last night you said-"

"I know, and I'm sorry. I was so confused then and I didn't know what I was feeling. I didn't know what you were feeling either, so I panicked after that kiss and took the easy way out, saying it was all a mistake because I valued what we had and I wasn't sure if things were going to be awkward after."

"I shouldn't have reacted the way I did-"

"No, it was a perfectly reasonable response-"

Jos holds up a hand to silence him yet Chris can see he's got a small smile on his face, that fond one he gets whenever Chris does something dumb, like when he trips over his own two feet during training because Joe has found yet another way to tie his laces together without him noticing. 

"I shouldn't have reacted the way I did, but for me, it felt like you'd led me on or something, but now you're telling me that you genuinely didn't realise the consequences of your actions. I guess I believe you, you're a good guy. You have no reason to lie. We did all of those things away from your family, going shopping for presents for when we get back, going to the Christmas market, holding hands, dancing together, the kiss..." He trails off, as if getting lost in thought.

"I didn't realise it back then, but I did all of those things because I had, well, still have, feelings for you and they felt like the most natural things to do. I understand if you're angry and want nothing more to do with me after today, but I owe you an explanation for everything because I've treated you horribly. I understand if you never want to speak to me again but I think you deserve to hear the truth after-"

Jos leaps off the bed and silences him with a kiss. He draws back momentarily with a surprised sound but finds he can't move far as Jos has his arms over his shoulders, pinning him in place. His eyelids flutter shut and he finds that this kiss is better than the last.

They draw apart, Jos' eyes are dark as his breathing ragged as he speaks. "You're an actual idiot, Christopher Roger Woakes."

"I know," he pants and leans in for another kiss. Jos happily obliges.

***

They lie on the bed, thoroughly kissed out and exhausted. Chris lets his gaze wander across all of Jos' features without fear of getting caught and idly runs a thumb over smiling lips.

"Was the story true? The one you told everyone on your first day here?"

"I was hoping you'd forgotten," he chuckles and moves closer to Chris. "It was the way I wished things had happened, that we would've started talking after that, but you were so out of it I felt that if I'd made any moves then, I would've been taking advantage."

"You stupid, stupid man," Chris mutters leaning in to steal another kiss. When he draws back, he lets his hand trail across Jos' cheek, thumb running along his cheekbone, right beneath his eye. Jos leans into the touch, humming contently. He tilts his head to leave a small kiss on Chris' palm.

"Blue."

"Hm?"

"Blue," Chris repeats himself, looking into Jos' mildly confused gaze. "Not the bright blue type, no. The softer shade, the more... muted one that's almost green, like in sea glass. That's my favourite colour. David said you wanted to know."

"Kind of the blue Aston Villa has on their crest?" He cracks a smile and Chris shakes his head.

"Sort of, but that's not the main reason why I like it so much."

"Oh? And what is this other 'main reason'?" Jos says, feigning ignorance.

Chris doesn't answer. He only kisses Jos again. 

***

Chris hauls his and Jos' bags into the boot of his car and slams it shut, turning to his family.

"It's been great seeing you all again," he smiles as he hugs all of them. 

"We'll miss you, Chris," his mum says, enveloping him in a tight hug. He closes his eyes as she holds him. He'll miss this. Eventually they draw back. "You'll be back for Easter, though, right?"

"Of course," he says, moving on and hugging David. He murmurs a soft 'thank you' just for the both of them to hear. He feels David's smile more than sees it and can't help but smile as well.

"What about Jos?" Peter pipes up and Chris blinks a few times. He hadn't thought about that. He looks at Jos who is shaking hands with his dad.

"We'd love to have you back, Jos. It's almost like you've become part of the family while you've been here, and Chris does need someone to take care of him when we can't." His dad claps Jos on the shoulder and Jos looks at Chris for a few moments before smiling. It's not a big smile, but it has so much warmth, happiness in it that Chris feels the corners of his own lips tugging upwards at the sight.

Jos steps across and takes Chris' hand in his, lacing their fingers together and giving them a small squeeze. 

"I'd love to come visit again for Easter," he says, addressing Chris' parents and brothers. Somewhere in the corner of his eyeline, he sees Peter give a small fist pump.

After a few more minutes of goodbyes and hugs, Chris and Jos pile into the car.

"Chris?"

"Hm-?" He is cut off when Jos leans over and kisses him. He's pretty sure his entire family can see them but he doesn't care. There's a hand slipping down his thigh, coming to rest on his knee.

Jos pulls back with a smile. "Let's head back, yeah?"

"Yeah," he grins, reversing out of the familiar driveway, the road ahead of him clear and a soft tune playing on the radio. "Let's."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me for 17,000+ words! I hope it was worth it :]
> 
> Feel free to comment or leave kudos :))


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